© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

A Penny For Your Somedays

i’m gonna see you one day

so you can give me your lights and lock my wishes

lavish my pallet in all things delicious

rule me with your mystery

one day i’ll know why you call

through kingdoms

across the stars

reigning over my dreams

siren taunts in that blue

i only dare tiptoe

any closer

feeling the ancient sway

wonder how much longer can i drift under

before i float over

before i float over arcs of legend

listening for the birth of seasons

breeze through this city

flying on spheres

i’ll stop to fall in love

maybe with you

more than likely with the view

spare some change for a holiday

count those pennies

i’ll get there someday

…you’re seeing this post because I poked my head in to answer the Daily Post prompt…oh to wonder and wander through Paris, Egypt, Australia, Venice, and Amsterdam…one day!

Image © GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

Moving On

The year is truly zooming. For crying out loud, it’s March tomorrow!  So much happened already. This month’s challenge caught me at a time when I really had to think about who to direct this to. Yes, there are unresolved issues. Honestly, and this is not a cop-out, I don’t have time to care. More importantly, for my sanity and wellbeing I have to let certain things go. I know I’ve said this before so forgive me for the redundancy.

If I did write a letter or anything it would be about my father. It’s really not good to speak ill of the dead. So if I say anything about my experiences with my dad, my grand conclusion would be that none of those things he did or said killed me.

Now on to the challenge…

I’m not stewing in my own pot of hate as I was last year. I dunno. It’s like a switch flipped in me. But what I can do to answer this is compile a list of things that irk me that—when the situations arise—I want to be better at handling. It’s not specific to one person:

  • Responses to people asking for assistance beginning with,” well can’t you…”.
  • Not making time to do something and soliciting others to do it for you.
  • Forgetting someone helped you get where you are.
  • Getting wound up about situations you know nothing about.
  • Assuming things are as you insist on perceiving them. (goes along with the above)
  • Your unwillingness to forgive others of theirs flaws yet insisting people give you chance after chance, after chance…
  • Extending a disingenuous invitation. Repeatedly.
  • Unresponsiveness to open lines of communication.
  • Gossiping

There might be more to this list. However, I take the focus off getting myself together if I dive any deeper. How I allow personality clashes to affect me is vital. And let’s face it, what’s the point in giving my power away? I’ve done a lion’s share of that all my life.

Image © GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image © GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

I’m here and willing to have an adult interaction should the parties involved like to discuss all I’ve mentioned.

Meanwhile…

I’ve got this one life and it’s too important for me to be bent out of shape over things beyond my control. People are gonna be who they’re gonna be. And I’m gonna continue to be Glorious.

Pun unequivocally intended.

This post is written in response to the February 2014 Peace Challenge: We Are Family

Do yourself a favor and get you some nice juicy PEACE. Your heart will thank you for it. 

Related Articles:

The Seeker comes to terms with forgiveness

B4Peace Homepage

Kozo & Cheri Asks That You…

Image © Gloria Hood + Glorious Mettle

There Might Be Hearts And Flowers

Ummm…hey…it’s me

Image © Gloria Hood for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: © Gloria Hood+Glorious Mettle

well of course it is ’cause like there’s no guest blogger who’s taken over

i’ve been working through and on some things that i hope to share with you all very soon

so thought i’d peek my head from out of the shadows to give you a little something

because you know…

it’s like valentine’s day and whatever…

 

///CLICK HERE FOR MY LOVELY GREETING TO YOU\\\

 

All images © Gloria Hood + Glorious Mettle

© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

I’m Gonna Need This Party To Last A Little Longer

I must have known something was coming. Good thing I wrote most of this post before my birthday. Maybe I should have posted it then as well? 

Lately I’ve been on a certain vibe. My physical hasn’t changed much but my insides are going through a major renovation. When I turned 30, I lost my job and my apartment on the same day. Not long after that I moved from New York; a place I thought was my “forever home”. Going from the lullabies of sirens and neighbors yelling to crickets and neighbors…OK maybe some things weren’t as much of an adjustment as others. Add to that other major life events that seemed to scream “welcome to 30 sucka”. It was all quite dramatic for me. Every last one of my friends who turned 30 went through some major changes as well. With slight trepidation I was really looking forward to leaving my thirties behind me.

This year, tragedy and drama highlighted my turning the big four ohh. It shows no sign of letting up. So far, it’s not mine. However loving people they way I love the ones that are going through recent troubles, I’m hurting along with them. I am handling the emotional tides differently than I have in the past. Sometimes I feel stronger than I ever had but I have to take care not to burn out as a good friend recently told me.

I had good reasons for not writing this. I was tired. I had a headache. It wasn’t my birthday anymore. In the past, I would let my writing fade in the dust of the upheaval of my emotional life. I can’t allow that to happen. My therapy, choosing to write to you while Marc Anthony lifts my spirits. So although this may not read like a very happy birthday message, for me it is. I’m encouraging myself to live—not simply exist—in this whirlwind of life happening around me. I almost feel a guilty for being in a good mood. But if I don’t allow myself these moments of happiness, I’m no good to the people who rely on my support.

And so through all the changes my beautiful constant has been music. It cries my tears, gives my ghosts a voice. Music sits beside me and listens when so one else can or will. It holds me and rocks the blues out of my unrequited dreams…I loves my music. Y’all know this. And there are but so many posts that I’ll let slide without a lyrical reference. I think you’re used to it by now. If you’re not, you will be ;) So my lovely audience I give you my (mini and belated) Birthday Playlist.

///I’LL BE CELEBRATING ALL YEAR FOLKS\\\

Or At Least Trying To!

[Featured Image: Photo by Gloria Hood for GLORIOUS METTLE. Demi Lovato performing at River Stage at Great Plaza in Philadelphia, PA summer 2013.]

© GLORIA HOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

A Holiday Party You Don’t Have To Get Dressed Up For

If you’re in the mood for some togetherness without getting gussied up in party gear, you can be in your jammies and have a grand old time. What am I jibber jabbering about?

I’m joining a group who are helping to combat the Christmas blahs. 

Company For Christmas was created as a life line. Not everyone has happy-go-lucky Christmas experiences. Every year many spend the holidays isolated. They wish someone, even if for a moment reached out to say ‘Hey, I see you. It’s alright if you’re not happy but you don’t have to be alone”. The volunteers at Company for Christmas are bloggers, everyday people who understand that we all really kind of want the same thing, to be noticed and have someone listen.

If you have some free time on Christmas and you want to volunteer to chat with anyone who is alone for this holiday season sign up. If you’re returning from last years crowd, you should be able to set up your chat page and add your name to the timetable list. For further info, check out the Info And News links to the right of the C4C page.

If you’d like a friendly ear to wax poetic about whatever, please stop by. Check the timetables to see who’s available to talk during hours that work best for you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Be safe and know that someone really does care.

 

 

© GHOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

Closing Time And The Return Of The Muse!

I’m writing these words for real. I’m not imaging this. Lift your head woman! You can sleep in a bit.

Why am I saying all this?

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS THE LAST NABLOPOMO 2013 POST!

Oh my God! Santaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! What? Oh sorry, knee jerk reaction to excitement. It’s here. It’s here. It’s here…breathe

It’s fitting that my closing post to what has been an odyssey into my creative mind addresses a question I’ve been asked quite often.

What’s up with the name Glorious Mettle?

Quote from a recent conversation:

With my blog name I thought about how I’m still here creating and eager to do more with my life and be better. So I was like, I do have quite the mettle going on and I guess it could be considered glorious. It’s one of the few times I’ve embraced my name. I haven’t been too keen on it in the past.

That pretty much sums it up. Life doesn’t keep me down for long because something in me won’t rest. I guess I’ll know where that driving force leads me when the time comes. So it’s fitting I’ve have a name I feel I need to live up to. I’m meeting the challenge one word, one thought, one creative outlet at a time. And more importantly I do it with love.

For everyone who participated in NaBloPoMo; we did it y’all! Congratulations! Thank you to all who took time out of their own schedules to read and/or comment. It was an experience I’ll never forget.

© GHOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image © GHOOD + Glorious Mettle

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((♥♥♥♥))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Don’t let the date hold you back. Those posts aren’t going anywhere. Go on now read and comment on posts from the gang @ Rarasaur’s NanoPoblano, BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo @yeahwrite, and NaBloPoMo Headquarters at BlogHer.

© GHOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

life is life

lifeislifepst

Life is life.
It doesn’t always kiss me sweetly.
But it is mine.
It doesn’t give me everything I want.
And I am grateful.
But sometimes I’m bitter.
Life continues to greet me where I am.
Each moment offering change.
How to replace my anger with grace?
This my undying prayer.
Fighting gravity.
Grasping at stars.
I rise to fall into the other.
Little one I’ve run from.
Waiting to make sense of it all.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((♥♥♥♥))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Go on now,  get to writing. Don’t forget to read, like, and comment on posts from the gang @ Rarasaur’s NanoPoblano, BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo @yeahwrite, and NaBloPoMo Headquarters at BlogHer.
IShallBlogftimg

Battling Beasts Of The Blogging Wild

IShallBlog

You see that picture above? That’s the way I felt when I started NaBloPoMo. I wasn’t going to allow my hesitancy to pull off a post a day for thirty days stop me from completing my goal. I had ideas in my head and on notes. I had tons of images to work with. I had this; as some of my fellow bloggers have recently told me. My drive was there. The support was there. Nothing would stop me.

Then I actually started writing. I signed up on the evening of November 5th. Already behind and nearing another day, I scrambled to think of what to post. Nothing seemed good enough. I typed and deleted like mad. I edited photos as if I was getting paid to, although I always did that. I tried to make posts short and sweet. But as I typed my thoughts found a much need release.

So I went with it. I figured I wasn’t the only one going through this. I knew I would catch up eventually. When I got settled, a schedule would be made allowing for breathing room.

But the Blogging Beast within tormented me with threats of horrible writer’s block if I didn’t finish a post, even if I’d been working on it for hours.  It reminded me of how many I’d done and had left to do. It lashed it’s tail at my hands when (mid sentence) I left the computer for snack or bathroom breaks, or God forbid rest. Sleep deprived with sore fingers, I typed on.

I’m about halfway through another week. I’m not too far behind. I’m doing my best responding to comments and reading fellow bloggers. I’ve come across some very cool people and I’m thankful for the views, comments, and encouragement. I apologize to anyone I haven’t gotten to sooner, especially my yeahwrite rowmies. I’m still in this to the end. But I felt like voicing my frustrations instead of talking to myself about them. Besides, I think my yapping exhausted my muse. Matter of fact I know it did. I believe her response was…

cute puppy

My sentiments exactly!

Puppy image note: I don’t know where this puppy came from. A friend sent it to me. If you know the owner or are the owner and want it credited, I have no problem giving it. Or I can take it down but then you’d be denying people all this scrumptious adorableness.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((♥♥♥♥))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Go on now,  get to writing a post a day for the month of November. You can do it! And don’t forget to read and comment on posts from the gang at Rarasaur’s NanoPoblanoBlogHer’s NaBloPoMo@yeahwrite & NaBloPoMo Headquarters at BlogHer…Yes I know, I need to take my advice.

Special shout out to my rowmies:

Janice, Kylie, Runes and Rhinestones, and Elan

worththeriskftimg

Worth The Risk

worththerisk

I’ve spent my life walking the fine line between caring what others think about me and not giving a damn. It’s a hard habit to break. Reflecting on interactions I’ve had with people I see how some of them never really got to know the real me, only a version of me I thought they could handle. It’s just too much work. And I’ve learned being mean and unsympathetic is not synonymous with honesty. I’m not sure why people fall back on “I’m just being honest” when they’re really being rude or insensitive. I’ve been on the other side of off-hand comments and have no desire to intentionally give that back to anyone.

It seems that women especially struggle with allowing their true personalities to shine through. I know that I grew up with messages of conformity. I spent my childhood and teens battling people’s opinion of the type of guys I liked, the clothes, I wore, the music I listened to, and the way I spoke. Actually sometimes I still get some flack about all that. Now it just makes me laugh because I’m comfortable with my interests and preferences. It’s what makes me so darn lovable :)

At the risk of the opinions of that all-powerful conglomerate called THEM, I say forget them and get back in touch with you. You might be a little hesitant to break your patterns. Everyone won’t necessarily understand, but that’s OK they’ll live. For the ones who stick around, they’ll get to know you all over again in all your bright shiny glory (bit of a pun intended there).

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((♥♥♥♥))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Go on now,  get to writing. Don’t forget to read and comment on posts from more writers @

and

Image © GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

Don’t Sleep On This

Image: GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

What are your deepest darkest/scariest dreams? Go ahead and think about that. I’ll wait…

How do you feel about acknowledging your true passions to yourself? May seem odd to be afraid to admit something to yourself. But it’s OK. Do you break out in hives at the thought of sharing those ideas with others? What if they laugh at you? Maybe it doesn’t make sense to anyone but you. What if they tell everyone what you plan to do and then (gasp for air) you feel obligated to live up to it?

Are you uncomfortable yet? It’s a natural response. If I got paid for all the times there was an unsavory response when I shared ideas that brought me the utmost delight, I’d be a wealthy woman indeed. Each time I divulge my heart I leave myself open to criticism. Vulnerability is a garment I’m still getting used to. I gotta break it in like a new pair of shoes.

Thing is, I’m not interested in hiding anymore. Not to say I’m gonna have a town hall meeting about what moves me. There is a time and a place and yes sometimes an audience for that. I know I can’t tell errbody everythang. I can start with myself; the safest place I know.

I know the freedom that comes from embracing my dreams. And I long for more of it. People may not get it. I might not always have the support I think I should. I feel like someone takes the air out of my balloon when I get nonchalance over things I’m hyped about. Ya know what though, I can’t let that stop me from reaching for what my heart feels is good for it. I won’t know what is truly possible for me unless I try. I invite you to join me and try fearlessness on for a little while.

Featured and post images © Gloria Hood + Glorious Mettle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post was written in response to the January 2014 Bloggers For Peace Challenge:

What one thought will you focus on this year to bring more peace?

Do yourself a favor, get you some nice juicy PEACE. Your heart will thank you for it. 

Related Articles:

Daydreams In Wonderland gets some Zen

B4Peace Homepage

Kozo & Cheri Asks That You…

© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

When I Was Just A Little Girl

I asked my mother what will I be. –  “Que Sera Sera”, Sly and The Family Stone

I honestly don’t remember if I asked my Mom that. But I did ask her a battery of questions on such a regular basis that she resorted to telling me to “look it up”. I hated it. I thought she was being lazy and didn’t want to explain things to me. She got me so many reference books. My favorite where the ones by Jacques Cousteau. After years of researching whatever topic peaked my interest, my investigation skills are pretty good. I like to call myself Columbo because every unknown is like a piece of a puzzle I simply must solve. I have my Mom to thank for feeding my voracious appetite for knowledge.

My mom woke me up most mornings by singing “Good Morning To You”. It drove me crazy! In hindsight it was probably on weekends when she did that. Nonetheless it could be one of the reasons I wake up with a song in my head. My father had something to do with that as well. But this post is about my Mom, so I’ll revisit Dad’s side another time. Mom fostered my love of eclectic music. She got me my first record (could have been Disco Duck) and my first record player; it had flashing lights. I see you giving me the sideways glance. I don’t care. So there!

One of the greatest gifts my Mom gave me was her belief in speaking positivity over my life. “The power of life and death is in the tongue.” She’d say that with such conviction anytime I was down on myself. She wouldn’t allow me to throw a pity party. She still doesn’t. Before positive thinking was a thing my Mom was a strong advocate. I was a hard-headed lass and so it was many decades before any of it resonated. It’s so embedded in my psyche now. Whenever I hop on the ‘whoa is me’ train, I’m at the next stop with some game changing mental chatter, telling myself to depart.

© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: © GLORIA HOOD////GLORIOUS METTLE

The reason for this walk down memory lane is that yesterday was my Mom’s birthday. Since the weather sucks I’m giving her a Birthday Snow Day extension. That woman has done so much for me. I could be the wealthiest person in the world and I still wouldn’t be able to repay her for her love, time, encouragement, jokes, stories…She’s amazing and she’s mine. But if you’re nice I might let her visit you for a little bit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!

I LOVE YOU!

♥♥♥♥

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
////Images © GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com\\\\

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

YT acting up again…Please do watch the video of Corinne Bailey Rae’s deliciously indulgent version of “Que Sera Sera”. It is EVERYTHING!

gmprwntr1314-d.png

Along the Way with Gloria Hood, Designer and Maker

Glorious Mettle:

Hey, birthday presents came early this year. Sandra Harriette wrote an article featuring you know who…After you read and comment, stay for a while and dive in to the rest of her site.

Originally posted on A Life Inspired:

 

Gloria Hood, Designer and Maker
Photo Credit: Gloria Hood

There are some people who live and breathe creativity so fluidly that it forces them to create by any means necessary. That kind of drive can also mean drastic risk-taking. Gloria Hood (aka Glorious Mettle), muse whisperer and artist, knows exactly what that’s like. On her blog, she shares a little corner of her own world, urging her readers (and surely other job-seekers and opportunists) to be “superexcellent” throughout the shared journey.

Your blog is so dynamic, reflecting a multitude of your creative interests. Surely you draw upon some artistic, professional experience in order to create the way that you do.

Long answer: time. That’s funny! Not that the question is funny but that I wasn’t “working” when I started blogging. Three years ago, I quit my job as an administrative assistant in a computer lab to pursue jewelry design. It has been a slow…

View original 1,177 more words

© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

‘Me’ Music – Soulful Selection

Glorious Mettle:

Until I do a full on music post…dig this line up. Some cool music here people!

Originally posted on Whimsical Eclecticist:

I wanted to share some music. Well, I want to keep sharing music. And I realized I have not made a music post in the last month. Really, there’s is more than enough good music around, and even in my collection alone, to be able to share with you most days. Once a month is horrific. I do apologize. So, without further ado, I present to you tonight’s selection:

Fat Freddy’s Drop – “Clean The House

I saw Fat Freddy’s Drop, a New Zealand group, live a couple years ago. They are amazing. Absolutely spectacular live. I’m also more and more impressed each time they release something new.

Electric Empire – “Changin’

I saw Electric Empire live a couple years ago as well. Another great live band. I didn’t actually know them before that. They were opening for someone else. What a pleasant surprise. I own…

View original 58 more words

© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com

What’s It Gonna Be?

Don’t worry. This is not a resolution list or anything like that. Not that I have anything against them. Though I received great ideas from an anti-resolution list. I’m working on setting attainable goals that keep me motivated to carry out long-term changes.

I tend to operate under a cloud of perfection. I allowed this holiday season to run me down. Insisting things were just so before 2014 arrived, I was almost in tears around 11 PM. I was exhausted and still had things to do. Eliminating of any speck of 2013 dirt or clutter consumed me. To the normal eye, everything looked fine. Food cooked. Most of the cleaning done. I still needed to decorate, do laundry, clean my bedroom, and wash my hair, oh and make cookies…I know it’s ridiculous.

Once the ball dropped and the champagne sipped, I joked that I’d rather be dirty and happy than clean and miserable. It’s a bit of a stretch. This year I’m aiming for medium imperfect with a good dose of quite pleased with myself. Me getting organized often turns into a project with more steps than I can do in one session. Next time, I’ll complete a few tasks a day until I’ve reached my goal. Seems reasonable enough. Any recovering perfectionists in the house? Y’all already know…

Eventually the cookies got baked the next evening. The laundry still awaits. I forgot about it until I started writing this. I’m not fazed. Everything else got checked off the list. It’s great having my life in order but not at the risk of my happiness. I’m not advocating letting it all go to sugar honey iced tea. I’m simply leading the new year with a dedication to not overextend myself all the time.

© GLORIA HOOD for gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: GLORIA HOOD + Glorious Mettle

CHEERS TO LA BONNE VIE!!!!

»Featured image: Gloria Hood + Glorious Mettle: Dad way before I was born«

wordsoftheseason

Presents Under The Tree? No! I Already Opened Them

Oh My God!!!!!! I missed you guys! I know. If I missed you so much why haven’t I posted?

I’ll answer that in another post…

In the spirit of opening presents on Christmas Eve [something I've done only once on purpose], I’m giving you this post to enjoy. Considering it’s kind of but not really a ‘look, see what I got’ post, I’m not sure how much enthusiasm you’ll have for it. But it’s the holidays so I’m gonna say that it’s the thought that counts, or some other mess to convince you its OK I didn’t give you an actual gift. Some of this seems familiar. I think we’re in year two of a Glorious Mettle tradition…

You may know Emily at The Waiting blog. If you don’t you should shake your booty on over there and check out the antics interesting things she has going on. Recently she hosted a give-a-way of some totes adorbes crocheted goodies from Amber Ruffin of Little Love Crochet. These items fit in perfectly with my Nostalgic Christmas theme. I love to support fellow makers. I already have my eye on some other things she’s done.

LOOK AT THE CUTIES !!!!!!

© GLORIA HOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: Gloria Hood + Glorious Mettle, Items: Little Love Crochet

Only thing that comes from my hands + yarn + a crochet needle is a scarf. That’s only if I don’t put it down and forget about it.

© GLORIA HOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: GLORIA HOOD + Glorious Mettle, Items: Little Love Crochet

Him name is Drew because I like to name my stuff.

© GLORIA HOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: GLORIA HOOD + Glorious Mettle, Image: Little Love Crochet

This is Ivy. I really dug deep with the names huh?

© GLORIA HOOD gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Image: GLORIA HOOD + Glorious Mettle, Items: Little Love Crochet

This here is Totes Adorbes a fetching name as he is in full regalia as a candy stasher!

Everyone should get a little something for Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. In case your bad ass stayed on the naughty list or you just didn’t get anything for no darn good reason; I have this for you…

© GLORIA HOOD  gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
No ornaments were harmed in the making of this post!

 

 

Featured image: Walmart gift bag

© GLORIA HOOD + Glorious Mettle

I’d Love To Hate You But I Have Some Peace In Progress

I confess. During this peace walk, I appeared contented and blissful. However its covered up this side road of bitterness in my heart with family occupying almost every inch of it. For that reason, I knew this challenge would take me a long time to get to. It wasn’t necessarily out of avoidance. I think I had one more incident to deal with or rather instigate before I had juicy material to work with.

Basically, I went in a little far on my issues with family to another family member. This person is as close as a brother to me and we’ve talked candidly before about our mutual grievances towards kin. Maybe because I haven’t seen him in a year and I missed the closeness we shared but more likely because of my familial clashes, I told him about things that happened since and before our grandmother died 2 years ago. I think he was a tad overwhelmed. If I didn’t live so close to the “action”, I’d be in the dark as well.

I probably gave him more information than he ever cared to know. I get that. I think the incident involving myself and someone very close to him set him off. He wondered why the person never told him about the exchange. I responded by posing who in their right mind is going to report to someone about their bad behavior? Well exclude me, you know on account of me being a bit off and all. What I don’t get is his disappearing act after we spent an entire day hanging out and this is after I debriefed him on family drama.

I called him, feeling like I might have said waaaaaaay too much. I left apologetic messages…No response. You know how maddening that was?! Oh but thank goodness for Facebook. It’s apparently the way people let you know how they really feel about you. I’ll leave it at that. For all I know I’m jumping to conclusions, again.

You’re probably wondering where the peace comes in to this shindig. To be quite honest, I’m looking for it myself. See, I don’t think I have a pretty bow of amnesty to wrap this up. What I do have is a revelation. I’ll remain a prisoner to my vexations unless I release hurt feelings attached to friends, lovers, would-be loves, and strangers. But the family thing is A #1 on my list because it is my deepest wound. I want to forgive because I am so tired of being angry. It’s exhausting. They ‘ain’t thinking about me like that. They’re living their lives while I relive the inglorious past.

I have to master the art of loving the people I allowed to hurt me. No need for fakery or coldness. But I do have to let go and acknowledge my participation. Negative behavior is a mirror. I have to see that which I don’t wish to partake in. I don’t have to dance around the bonfire of hatred and assumptions brought on by lack of proper communication. And for the love of cold noses on puppies, I must check in with my true intentions before running my mouth for the sake of being heard. Otherwise, I’m no different from my so-called oppressors.

I don’t mind walking into the darkness of ‘I want to forgive but I’m not quite there yet’. I don’t need the other party’s involvement to complete my mission. Ahh, yes ladies and gentleman, it’s important to not put anyone other than yourself in charge of how you react to a situation. I obviously learned this the hard way. Forgiveness will come. The storm took a while to gather. So I don’t expect instant healing. As I forgive myself first and look at my thoughts and my heart, bridges get repaired. Then I can extend graciousness to former adversaries. I’m not saying there will be any riding off into the sunset. But I think I can manage a quiet stroll through the park.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend you get your Peace on. OK it’s probably like 10 out of 10. So come get some.

Related Articles:

B4Peace Homepage

Kozo & Cheri Asks That You…

Driven To Create By Any Means Necessary!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 354 other followers