Yeah I had to start this way. You might as well turn off the television. Yes I know that means you have to get up. Just do it!. Mmm, that’s a good jumping off point. Stop being so damn lazy! You used to climb the monkey bars like a boy on Pop Rocks® and Pepsi for crying out loud! OK now that I’ve worked myself up, let’s begin…
Girl, please, I beg of you, for the love of God. GO TO LAGUARDIA! Yes I know the thought of public school terrifies you. Too many 80’s movies. But you know how hard you worked for this. Remember how daddy would curse you insisting you shut the…well you know. How many times did you play that Tiffany song? Who knew it was a remake? You didn’t care. You sang it your way anyway. Yes, I know, your bestie will write you a letter that will tear your heart to bits. She will live and you will live your dream. You must do this! I promise you, it will haunt you for the next, how old are we now? You’ll think about this forever OK.
If you don’t listen to me and go to that other school; go to the wrap party at NYU. You enjoyed your “internship”. You felt like you were with kindred spirits. That’s because you were. So snap out of that damn shy crap and have fun. You don’t need a peer chaperon. You never did. While I’m on school. Don’t concern yourself with who’s doing what during the summer while you (voluntarily) go to F.I.T. This is your heart trying to keep you on the right path. Stop listening to other people who do not have to live your life. They are going to criticize you regardless. You’ll never make the right decision even if you listen to them. They’ll turn around and tell you what a mess you are. Then they will “suggest” you do the very thing you set out to do!
Oh, very important. You’re gonna fail Chemistry. Don’t get tight. Go to summer school. You hear me? GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL! Otherwise…just go. You are not going to miss anything but a lot of waiting around for people who are chasing after other people. This pattern is on a hamster wheel. Get off now! You can always hang out with them when you get home; if you feel like it.
Wait! This is most important. Go see daddy in the hospital. He’s sorry. You won’t get the chance to hear him tell you “don’t let any man mistreat you”. God knows what else he will say if you visit him. Don’t be so cold. You’ll be way to good at it. It will make your life hell. And help out Mom. She’ll be devastated. You’re going to have to put your big-girl pants on. So hoist them up and talk to her when things seem out-of-order (as many will).
When you are off from school on January 19th, 19**, tell the idiot that he would be the lucky one if you let him spend time with you. Go enjoy the snow with your friends. You will save yourself a ginormous headache. Dude is really not worth it. He’ll lie about you and embarrass you at a party that you’re not at with people you don’t know (except for the one that tells you if you’re dumb and get with him anyway).
You might have to wait a very long time before anyone is worth giving yourself to. Now, you may get the feeling that it’s Uptown or The Bronx. Trust me, it’s not either of them. The Bronx will break your heart and if you have sex with him it will take even longer to get over him. He’s just not that into you. Dating someone who is not his “normal”. He can go punk himself.
If you pay attention and hang with your friends on January 19th, I won’t have to warn you about anyone else because you will have the sense to dismiss these creeps. Actually, you might meet different ones. You’ll be alert to their shenanigans though.
Keep listening to your instincts. Remember how they saved you from getting a broom handle to the back of the head (true story) on the bus that day? You couldn’t tell Mom why you didn’t want to sit there. It just didn’t feel right. Trust this feeling. It will save your life many many times.
Final thought. You are beautiful. You really are. You have to see this for yourself. That confidence that you had to sing Like a Virgin for your 6th grade talent show (at a Catholic school) is still there. It may diminish somewhat when you get older. This will only happen if you don’t listen to me.
Follow your dreams. OK that’s a last, final thought. You know how you hate that word potential? To keep the heebie jeebies it gives you at bay; follow your F*ing creativity no matter what! You have way too much talent to let the opportunities coming at you go by. Your Aunt B was wrong; they are not coming around again.
Ohh, jumping up and down big-time for this…DO NOT LEAVE NEW YORK! OMG DO NOT LEAVE NEW YORK!!!!