And saying sorry just won’t cut it,
even though I am, I’m sorry.
Hey you, I know you’ve tried to reach out and let me know you’re thinking of me. And I know you’ve seen me hanging out with others. You might have wondered why some of them got a quick response from me while your messages sat there for long stretches of time. I don’t have an excuse. I’m not trying to give you any either.
I don’t know why I get like that. I made time for work. I made time for Netflix and other digital distractions. I made time for other friends and associates. But I didn’t make time for you. And I reeled you in with some words and yet still, I didn’t respond when you tried to get my attention.
I thought about you. Yeah, I know, that makes it worse. What’s the point in a thought if it’s not followed up by a genuine action? I need to do better. And in true karma fashion, I got a good dose of my own medicine. But that’s not why I want to make amends. It just sucks to know I’m treating you differently than I’d want to be treated.
I know how it goes. Things happen, obligations arise and threaten to swallow us up if we don’t address them. That doesn’t make any of this alright though. I don’t know if you’re still there. But I’m still willing to give this a another shot. I’m not a quitter. I get down about shit sometimes. So deep in it that I don’t wanna talk to anyone about anything. But I’m not giving up trying to be a better human. So with me or not. I’m here. And I’ll be here. I’m still going to have those crazy quiet moments. I’m not promising perfection.
(day 9)*I wrote that letter to everyone and I wrote it to myself. I tend to have multiple POVs swirling about as I write. You might have noticed this. I try to keep it in check you know, so I don’t totally lose you…It was going to be my comeback letter when I started posting again. Plans, schmans, can’t rush a post. Well I could have. It’s better if I release it when it’s good and ready though. That’s another reason I didn’t rush to make up for late posts. They’ll happen. Patience.